Get this chubby monkey off my back already!

It's been long enough.  44.5 years is waaaay too long to be carrying this load.  Time to go - chubby monkey!

I was a fat kid. (I hit 200 my sophomore year of high school.)  I'm actually the slimmest that I have ever been in my life right now, but I still have this extra layer of chub that really, really, really bothers me.  It overwhelms me and actually gives me anxiety that makes me depressed, which causes me to eat the wrong foods for comfort and fullness, which gives me anxiety that makes me depressed which makes me eat for comfort and to feel full...in private (yes, binges)... and so the cycle goes.  I hate hearing people say, "You look great!  You don't have any weight to lose."  Well, they have never seen me naked.  It's not pretty.  And this constant feeling of defeat and failure is tearing me apart inside. I've just never quite gotten there.  Close, but not quite.  Close doesn't count anymore.  Close is Satan saying that it's OK to settle and compromise.

So I joined Weight Watchers on New Years' Eve and officially started my diet on January 1st.  Yes, I AM calling it a "diet" because I am consciously restricting my calories right now.  "Diet" helps me realize it's a temporary sacrifice.  When I think I can't have something like white sugar ever again, I panic.  With my "diet," I can have white sugar if I plan for it.  I'm already down 6.4 pounds.  I will not allow the scale to define me day to day anymore, so am only getting weighed at my meetings on Wednesdays.  I'll keep better track of my progress here on my blog.  But NO NAKED PICTURES.  Mercy.  In addition to my WW meetings, I've joined an accountability group on Facebook which has been such a blessing! You can check us out on www.athomewithkim.com. It's called Weigh-In Wednesdays (WIW).  Clink the link below and you will be there.  I am also into the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst.  It's all good stuff!

While I am on my "diet," I am also making lifelong lifestyle changes like less carbs and more veggies and fruit.  I haven't been very disciplined about working out this winter, but I ran/walked 3 miles yesterday on my treadmill.  I'm getting my MOJO back slowly but surely. 

Back to the chubby monkey on my back....

I feel that it is Satan telling me that I can't do this.  I'm this close to feeling like my best self (16.4 pounds away, to be exact) and the enemy is telling me I can't do it.  Oh yeah?  God says I CAN!!! 

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." ~ Philippians 4:13    

And my God is way stronger than the enemy any day of the week!

But - I have to believe this truth.  REALLY believe this truth.

Something has clicked this time.  I am determined to break free of this chubby monkey.  I have my WIW Sisters praying for me and supporting me, I believe in myself, but most importantly, my Creator wants me to be the best version of me that I can be!  He wants this chubby monkey off my back too.

Bye bye chubby monkey!  I won't miss you one bit!
 

”Hold on to the Promises “

My Bible this morning seemed to magically open right up to this verse:

“… ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’…”  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Jesus said that!  He promises that his power works best when we are weak.  It does not say He likes for us to be weak, but says He promises to be our strength when we are weak.  (Paul wrote this, and at that time he was being persecuted for sharing the gospel.)  His grace is all I need. 

So, if I fill myself with Christ, I will be stronger that I could possibly ever be on my own.  In this, it draws me closer to Him.  So in that way, like Paul, I understand the good that comes from pain.  His grace is all I need.    

I will focus on grace today, and the promise that He will show his power - just for today.  I will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Today, I choose to hold on to this promise.  I get anxious when I think about the “big picture,” not knowing what lies ahead, but I will focus only on today, today.  I’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.  (I am a slow learner sometimes, so need to repeat this to myself over and over and over…)  His grace is all I need.

“Your day to day choices determine what your tomorrows will become.”  I don’t know where I heard that, but there is so much truth there.  If I chose grace today, and then again on the next day, then the next – my tomorrows will become much stronger and before I realize it, I will be flexing my Jesus muscles because I have healed and feel strong again.

Can I get an Amen!?     

What promises get you through tough spots? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPO3meEuU24

“Promises” by Sanctus Real (tidbit: Matt, the lead singer, goes to my church when he is not on the road performing.  I saw him sing this live last fall at our church.)

PB2 – I love you!

If you have not tried this – go get some now!  This stuff is the answer to getting your creamy, dreamy peanut butter fix without all of the fat and calories. 

 

They somehow take slow roasted peanuts and press them to remove 85% of the fat and oil, and then put the powdered peanut stuff into a jar.  I bought this at Whole Foods in Ann Arbor, because my little hometown IGA is just not hip to the healthy beat. If you know what I mean.  I heard that Kroger has it in the health food aisle. There is also a chocolate version which I will try next and give you a full report.   It was about $5 for the jar and worth every cent for this delicious milkshake.

In a blender, combine:

1 cup milk - I used to use skim, but 1% just tastes better and it’s only 2.5 grams of fat – so I say, “live a little!”  I recently discovered that this is actually better with unsweetened almond milk and less calories! 

1 chopped banana

3-4 ice cubes

2 Tbsp. PB2

That's it.

Now blend. 

It was very thick and frothy.  I should have taken a picture of the finished product, but I was so excited to taste it that once I started in on it I could not stop.  So here is my empty glass.  Cheers!

4 WW points+ with 1% cow's milk
2 WW points+ If you use unsweetened almond milk, and I think tastes better.

 

 

Push your groove button!

Sustainable spiritual growth only happens when we do whatever it is that grows us closer to God with and through the Spirit.  Those things are different for each of us (because we are his masterpieces and uniquely made), and different for me as well in different seasons of my life.  Sometimes it is prayer in solitude, and sometimes TobyMac pushes my groove button.  At times, I sit with my Bible and nothing seems to grab me – other times a quick YouTube video from a favorite pastor brings me closer to God. Sometimes it is serving.  We can’t just think of going to church, reading our Bibles and such as the ONLY way to grow closer to God.  These are important, but not THE only thing. The Holy Spirit is all around us! 

Here are some of the things that push my groove button:

Prayer in solitude
Prayer with a friend
Prayer with several friends
TobyMac, Needtobreathe, Casting Crowns
Reading my Bible
Reading my Amish books (love those!)
Going to church
lifechurch.tv podcasts
Camping - being outdoors
Running, biking, yard work (seriously)
Serving the poor
Lively conversations with Christian friends
Encouraging a hurting heart
Watching my kids sleep
Watching my kids play
Watching my kids eat
Watching my kids pray
Making up rhyming words that end in -ay
Laughing
Leading
Writing
Family shin digs

What pushes YOUR groove button?  What gets you flowing with the Spirit?

It’s not all about YOU!

“If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord – and he will repay you!”  ~ Proverbs 19:17

Want the best therapy in the world to take you mind off yourself and your issues?  Go serve the poor!   We wallow in our self-pity about this, that, or the other thing and totally forget that the world is not all about us. People are lonely.  They are hungry.  They are unloved.  They are unwanted by the world.   We have SO much to be thankful for.  Forget about yourself for a bit and share the love of Jesus by serving others.  It will take your mind off of your problems real quick! 

This morning, my son and his buddy and I volunteered at our church's food ministry feeding the poor and homeless.  I do not mean to boast about my good deed for the day, but want to share my experience and maybe inspire you to serve in some way as well.  You will get so much more out of it than you give – which makes me feel kind-of guilty! 

One of my happy places is serving the poor.  I also will admit that I feel a little guilty about serving the poor because although I am doing it to share the love of Jesus as we are instructed to do in the Bible, I get so much gratification out of it that I feel almost ashamed of myself.  It fills me!  It makes me overflow with JOY by being a servant and that repayment is enough for me.  There is a great big world out there full of people who need food, clothing, shelter, but most of all - to experience the LOVE of Jesus.  When these people come for nourishment and you smile and say hello, it may be just enough to brighten their day.  Even if just for that moment you help them feel the love of Jesus pouring out through you, isn’t that enough?  You know, that “… love your neighbor as yourself” part that is so easy to overlook.  Put others before yourself and see what happens.  Being a vessel is the coolest thing ever!    

Also, I want my kids to see that there is a hurting world out there and we all need to do our part to grow the Kingdom by telling the world about Jesus.  And through our acts of kindness, hopefully my kids experience Jesus flowing through them.

Now, please go out and serve! J

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”  by Mother Theresa

 

Happy Father’s Day!

I lost my dad to brain cancer August 17, 2010.  It’s been almost two years, but I feel like I know more about him now than when he was alive.  My stepmother gave my brother and I some of dad’s belongings earlier this week, and I went through some of them yesterday.  There were old pictures including him with his beloved Studebaker (which he named Zelda Q), his first grade report card, his US Navy momentos, etc.  Going through these things brought his spirit back alive!  I miss my dad, but it will only be a matter of time before he is holding my hands again… while I stand on his toes …and we dance….      

How about we chug on over to Mamby-Pamby Land?

Have you ever seen the Geiko commercial with the drill sergeant as a therapist?  He gets really irritated with a patient and throws a box of tissues at him – that is after he suggested that the patient chug on over to Mamby-Pamby Land for some self-confidence.  I am afraid that if I were a therapist, I may be just like that drill sergeant.

I tend to lack compassion at times.  Lots of times.  Here’s the deal though – I lack compassion when (in MY opinion) I feel the person should be emotionally stronger or simply just try harder to get over “whatever/whoever” and move on.  Who am I to make this judgement though?  We all have issues, myself included, but perhaps my expectations are too high for others in getting past their issues.  Maybe not everyone can see a way out.  Maybe there are lots of people around me whose patience has been tested because of me and some irritating behavior that I have.    

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My sister-in-law pointed out to me that my job (sales) forces me to be a little NOT compassionate – which is very true.  If I let myself get too emotional at work about work stuff, It would be impossible to do my job.  She also reminded me that I need to turn that off for people who don’t operate like me.  I need to turn my work attitude off  when the occasion calls for it.  She is so right.  But it’s hard because I am there most of my waking hours (or so it seems). 

I need to consciously be more Christlike in my compassion.  I’m working harder on that starting NOW.