Really, nothing is wrong

So then why does that make me feel uneasy?

Does something ALWAYS have to be wrong?

I recently re-joined a new LifeGroup (a.k.a. Bible Study) with some absolutely amazing women.  After our study was over yesterday, we were all supposed to submit prayer requests. I sat there dumbly because I really had nothing heavy on my heart that I felt needed prayer.  Along the same line, two weeks ago our church service was about worry and anxiety.  Again, I really didn't feel it spoke to me.  I am not worried about anything right now.  No anxiety with this girl. Nada.

Right now, that is.

I feel like I am in a very sweet spot in life right now.  My heart is joyful and flowing in the Spirit.  I feel safe and secure and loved in the sweet arms of Jesus.  I am in complete surrender to His plan for every area of my life.  I feel good.  No worries no hurries no hate no drama no nothing.  Just all good stuff!

So is that all bad?

Oh, dear friends, I've had my bouts of worry and anxiety and drama and hate.  It has kept me awake many nights and robbed me of joy many days.  But not right now.  Now it's all good!

It really backed me up yesterday when I thought about it.  I started to wonder what was glaringly sideways and wrong in my life that I was missing that I needed prayer about.  But - really, nothing is wrong.   

I'm just going to go with it and enjoy it and remain here because I really like it here!

I hope you are there too right now because it's such a cool feeling!

"Be happy, and a reason will come along." (unknown)

   

Running is so pretty – take boob sweat, for example

Runner girls, you know you know.  J

Or how about when Aunt Flo decides to join you for a run?  Ugh!!

And for my cold weather runner friends, the ever-so-lovely snoticles.

Pit stops wherever whenever. (I always carry toilet paper in my waist pouch for such occasions.)

Chafing under the boobies (I love you, Body Glide!)

And the callouses and blisters on your feet.

I have never lost a toenail, but it’s very common.  Gross.

Barfing. 

Passing gas.  Oops!  Excuse me!

Running isn’t always so pretty, but there are definitely some VERY pretty benefits of running like:

Tight, narrower hips

Strong, shapely legs

A healthy heart

Clear skin with pink cheeks

Confidence

Mental therapy as your mind totally escapes

Prayer time

Accomplishing a goal

I find it amusing when I tell people that I run.

Other runners will ask what shoes I wear, what races I am registered for, or PR (personal record) stuff.  There is an instant camaraderie amongst runners whether they are a 5 or 15 minute mile runner.  (I’m a 10:20 runner consistently, so not very fast but I do it anyways.)  Runners can talk and talk and talk about running.

I love the reaction of non-runners when I tell them that I run. They usually go into a diatribe about their bad knees.  Bad knees seem to be a common ailment amongst non-runners.  Occasionally they just plain state that they hate running, but it’s usually something about their knees.

Whether you run or not, I hope you are doing something healthy for your body and your heart.  It’s important to move your body in whatever way you like – just do something!  If you want to try running, get yourself a good, sturdy bra to prevent injuries, some decent shoes to prevent injuries, and try a plan like the Couch to 5k plan or look into Jeff Galloway.      

Bring on the boob sweat!

 

Pretty panties

In the bottom drawer of my dresser is a nice collection of pretty panties with the tags still on them that I have never worn.  In my top dresser drawer are the ho-hum everyday panties that I wear on a daily basis.

What in the world am I saving all of these pretty panties for?  I probably have 20 pairs of brand new pretty panties in there, and I wear boring panties every single day!    

Whaaaaa????

Because I WAS saving them for a special occasion.  Marriage.

It appears that is not going to happen for me, so I have decided to reward my weight loss milestones with new pretty panties.  Quite honestly, I would rather be slim, trim, and single in pretty panties than being married anyways.  Yes – I am going through one of my “man hater” stages.  Don’t worry though, it will pass.  I’m a lover to my very core.  Just a stage, friends.   

I have lost eight pounds since the first of the year.  I started out on fire, but my weight loss has slowed down with the winter blahs, changing my workout to include weight lifting, and a sick family (including myself for the past three days).  Currently, I am teetering on one of those scale numbers that end in a zero.  There is something so magical about dropping down below that mark.  When I do – I am breaking out a pair of those new pretty panties or two, then again in five more pounds, then again the next five, and then the last five I get the whole drawer full and will throw out my top drawer of ho-hum panties and start collecting something new.  Not panties though.

It’s like the good dining room dishes.  What are we saving them for!?  Isn’t everyday a good enough reason to celebrate and break out the good dishes?

Enough ho-hum panties for this girl!  It’s time to break out the pretty panties!

YOLO!! (you only live once)

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!

Around the first of the year I read a really cool post that included things to start doing in the New Year which included lighting a candle when we do our devotions to remind ourselves that we are the light of the world.  Lighting a candle has been a very nice addition to my daily morning quiet time with the Lord.  I will add the link to that cool post when I figure out where I found it!  Do you ever do that - read something that you want to go back and re-read and forget where you found it in the first place?

This morning, as I was reading my daily devotional in "Jesus Calling" from my sweet friend Kim from At Home With Kim, when I got to the sentence that read, "See times of darkness as opportunities for My Light to shine in transcendent splendor." - my glass votive shattered right there in front of me on my kitchen counter top.  Can you believe that?  The glass shattered, but the light kept on shining!  (The dovotional is written as if Jesus is talking to us directly.) 

 

 

 

"The Word gave life to everything that was created,

and his life brought light to everyone.

The light shines in darkness,

and the darkness can never extinguish it."

John 1: 4-5

 

 

So as it is with my life.  Sometimes circumstances around me will shatter and break, but the light of Jesus shines in "transcendent splendor" at all times and the "darkness can never extinguish it."    

 

Quite a lesson for this girl on a Monday morning!  

 

So, now I am singing my favorite church song which was probably the first song that I learned at Sunday School at the Baptist church, where my brother used to sit behind me and tie me to the chair with the bow on the back of my dress.  Everybody sing with me now.....

 

This little light of mine - I'm gonna let it shine.  This little light of mine - I'm gonna let it shine.  This little light of mine - I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

 



Be REAL to be REALLY loved

On the outside, I look like a good Jesus Girl (or at least I think I do).  On the inside, sometimes there is a different girl afraid that she will not be loved “if they knew the truth.”  I’m not talking all the time, but sometimes when I am struggling with sin.  Yes, sin.  We all sin. I know it’s a dirty word.

A few months ago, I confided in a Christian girlfriend about a sin that I was struggling with.  Keeping it inside made me feel miserable and alone, but I was too ashamed to tell anyone in fear of being unloved.    You know what she said after I told her about this struggle?  “Jenni, I struggled with that too.  I know how you feel.”  It was like she took a ton of bricks off my shoulders.  I thought I was the only bad Jesus girl.  Jesus girls want to say the right Jesus things and do the right Jesus things and wear the right Jesus things and listen to the right Jesus music and project the perfect Jesus image.  But sin creeps in and we freak out and try to hide it because we are Jesus girls.  We are not supposed to sin.

Who doesn’t love a good Jesus girl? But will they love a bad Jesus girl (past or present)?

I know that by confessing my sins to God I will be forgiven.  But, there is incredible power in confession to a fellow Christian.  What I thought would make her think less of me actually brought us closer together.  I’m not proud that we both shared the same sin, but it felt so good to be real.  In being real, our bond strengthened. 

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” – James 5:16

Confession brought out loving support – not judgment or disgust.   We prayed together which brough about wonderful results.  She was able to love me more because she knew me more.  You can only be loved as much as you are known.  Likewise, I love her more because I know her more.  

So to be REALLY loved, we need to be REALLY real.

Duh!

My favorite things Monday - catching up with friends on the phone

In this instant gratification Facebook and text world that we live in, nothing beats the rejuvenation of the soul like chatting on the phone with a friend that you haven't chatted with in far too long. 

I'm making it a point this year to be better at keeping in touch with friends.  I admit - I am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch.  Lucky for me, my friends are EXACTLY the same so they always understand.  At least that's what they tell me anyways.  The ones who are still talking to me, that is.

I've shared my Facebook and texting love/hate relationship regarding dating here if you're interested in my thoughts on that topic.

One of my long time childhood friends who is on my Facebook, but more in the "Facebook voyeur" category (she reads everybody elses' stuff but does not post much herself).... well I thought her life was ho-hum but little did I know Mr. Wonderful invaded her life and she is a happy little in-love camper.  I was so happy hearing her share her joy!  You just don't get that from Facebook or texting.

So pick up your phone and DIAL IT and tell an old friend that you were thinking about her.  I double dog dare you!  

messy house = messy heart

I notice this trend.  When my house is a mess, my head is also a mess.   When my head is a mess, my heart is a mess.  So….

It’s time to clean my house!

I’ve said it a million times and even blogged about it here – I cannot stand clutter.  I don’t like clutter in my house, in my head, or in my heart.  Sometimes, the clutter in my heart is difficult to organize and clean-up real quick like.  Some things just take time to pray through which makes my heart messy while the dust settles.  Sometimes I cannot control those things that make my heart messy – like when someone else does the messing-up, but I can control my house which helps clean-up my head, which helps clean-up my heart eventually.  IMHO, a messy heart manifests itself in all of us in one way or another; sometimes a messy house, sometimes excess weight, sometimes excessive partying, or other addictive behaviors (even obsessive working out), etc. 

Does this make sense?  When my heart is messy, I am looking for comfort somewhere/somehow.  Often that starts with dumping junk all over my dining room table.  (Actually, I think it starts with the shoe rug in the laundry room.  Hmmm…)  “Things” just start piling up and up and up and become such a mess to the point where I feel physically uncomfortable and irritable in my own home!  YIKES!!!  Then I get cranky and my heart issues turn into more heart issues and then I come unglued or I eat crappy foods.  Whatever happens - it’s never good. 

There is a calmness for me that comes from an orderly home.  Order allows me space to think. To breathe. To be. To pray. To get back to myself. 

So, as I clean my house, my head feels cleaner and more orderly, and my heart… well, for now, that will follow.  But that’s OK.  God is taking his time with me right now and showing me all sorts of nooks and crannies that need to be cleaned in my heart and teaching me new tools to clean with.  Like this - straight from the Good Book:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me.” ~ Psalm 51:10 NLT      

Our real cleansing comes from within.  For me, though, it’s hard to get inside (my heart) without also organizing the outside (my head and my home). 

So, when you come to my house and it’s a disaster, please ask me about the condition of my heart.  There is usually a story there.