Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Talking on the phone 101

I love that clip from “He’s Just Not That Into You” when Drew Barrymore is telling her friend about getting rejected via email, snail mail, and texting.  Check this out:

There is actually a lot of truth to that scene. I have been rejected FIVE, count them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times in the past year.  One actually had the decency to text first to see if he could call to “talk” – which I knew where that was going.  Another sent an email, another texted, another texted to “talk,” another did a no-show then texted that he forgot the date.  It’s a terrible feeling to invest a little bit of your heart into someone who does not respect you enough to be honest with you and confront you like an adult.  It makes you question your self worth.  That goes both ways, Sisters.  Break up with him respectfully, just as you would want to be broken-up with.  On the flipside, when he is doing something right that you want to acknowledge, he will really get your point if you take the time and make the effort to tell him face to face.   

Why do men fear the phone these days?  Is texting any easy shield to hide behind?  I miss the old-fashioned fluttery feeling in my tummy that I got when a guy called me.  I think men are super scared of rejection, so feel safer texting.  Less “putting yourself out there,” I guess.  Also, when you do a lot of texting, then the texts become less frequent for whatever reason (say, work or something like that), you go into freak-out mode.  Satan loves to take you to the worst place.   

Texts are easily misinterpreted, so try to avoid them as much as possible.  I say a man who does not have the cahoonies to call you is an indicator that the man has communication problems.  We’re adults here.  Not teenagers.  PLUS, after the break-up, you will be so conditioned to checking your phone for his texts that you will drive yourself crazy constantly checking your phone to see if he texted you to get back together.  Don’t ask me how I know.

So, here’s the deal ladies, if he is an obsessive texter - put the kibosh to it!  Just say NO! You want to know why?  Because I said so, that’s why! (I’m kidding.)  Really, raise your bar.  If your relationship starts out with a lot of texting, don’t be surprised if it ends that way too.  Expect a man to be able to tell you how he is feeling – good or bad – with his voice.  You will both have clarity.  You will both be better off for it in the end.  Maybe, just maybe, part of the reason that you are divorced is because of poor communication in your marriage??  So is texting really a solution to poor communication skills, or another portal for deficient skills that you need to develop?  We can’t do the same stuff over and over and expect different results.  We need clarity.  Answers.  That only comes from actually talking to each other.  Talking to each other?  Imagine that!      

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