Friday, February 3, 2012

“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

I love this book and have found that it applies so well to my kiddos.  In this book, Gary describes five specific love languages, and how understanding your and you loved one’s language help you to receive and express love in the language that each other understands.  According to Gary, we all fall into one of the five following categories: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  There is a quiz in the back of the book that determines your love language.

As an example, my son loves for me to just be with him.  He is a quality time kind of guy in a big, big way.  He loves to watch ESPN, and he loves his momma – so to him the ultimate afternoon is for me to sit with him on the couch and watch sports.  He doesn’t care if I am reading a book, or blogging, or whatever – just so I am sitting with him.  My time with him makes him feel loved.  My daughter, on the other hand, is a huggy-lovey physical touch kind of girl.  Even as a baby, she loved to be held.  She still cuddles with me, likes to be hugged, pats my back, brushes my hair – anything that involves touching.  When we eat dinner at the kitchen counter on our respective stools, her knee is always touching my knee.  That physical touch is how she feels loved. 

I have this real passion for learning about people and understanding what makes them tick.  Maybe it’s the salesperson in me.  I’ve found that connecting with people in their unique way makes them feel noticed.  Appreciated.  Loved.  It’s really about paying attention to the other person’s needs more than your own.  Making it all about them.  It’s beautiful when, in return, the love then flows back and forth.  Love is the choice to support each other, to serve each other, and to work at a relationship together.  Even though I do not have a mate to love, I still have relationships that are very important to me.  I never want to take those relationships for granted, so work at making them the best that they can be.  Books like this help – and I think all of us could use a little help from time to time.

Above all else though, love the Lord and demonstrate the love of Christ in everyone you meet through genuine care, concern, and forgiveness.   

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.” ~ Mark 12:3-31

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