Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Don't just "date to date"

This is wrong.  Very wrong.  You know why?  Someone will misunderstand the relationship and someone will get their feelings hurt.  You don’t want your feelings hurt, and you certainly don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings do you?  I believe in intentional dating and will not pursue a relationship with anyone I do not see myself in a committed relationship with down the road.  I say committed relationship and not marriage simply because I live in a rural village where wasband and I have agreed to raise our kids.  I cannot move out of the school district, so likely will not get married until my kids have graduated from high school unless I marry the only single guy in the village.  He rides a 3-wheeled bike (God bless his heart) and I prefer guys who ride 2-wheelers, so I have pretty much ruled him out.  I already know what you’re thinking.  Seven and a half years is a veeeeery long time to wait to have sex again.  I’m way ahead of you there, sister, as I have already though about that like a bazillion times!    
In the book “Boy Meets Girl,” the author, Josh Harris, talks about courting versus dating.  Courting is simply intentional dating.  I really like this whole idea of courting and think God does too.  It’s a commitment from the get-go to determine if there is a possible fit or not.  Tell some hot man you want to court and watch his eyes roll to the back of his head.  Go on.  I dare you!  The word sounds scary, but the purpose is to honor God with your intentions.  Whatever word you use, make sure you and hot man have a clear understanding of your intentions.    
I always go back to the relationship that I want for my kids someday.  I would not want some boy to take my daughter out on a casual date without any feelings for her. She deserves better than that.  Likewise, I don’t want my son to take a pretty girl out just to have someone to hang with.  That’s very disrespectful to the pretty girl.  It’s just not nice to play with people’s hearts or imply that you are interested in them when you really are not.  I need to set relationship examples for my children.          
But we get lonely… and just want someone to talk to… so we go out… then we share our hearts… then next thing we know we have crossed into that area that is supposed to be reserved only for someone who deserves to be let into that area of our tender hearts.  Crossing the line emotionally is every bit wrong as crossing the line physically.  As women we get emotionally attached when we start to share our hearts.  Do you see my point here?  Are you going to share your heart only to have it broken?  Besides, sharing things that are too personal too soon is not a wise idea.  You need to know that you can trust who you are talking to.    

And, what if while you are out on this casual date and you see the most gorgeous man in the whole wide world who you would make beautiful babies with and you are sitting there with some dude you could really care less about?  That would really stink, huh!?
No casual dating, girls!  You deserve better than that!

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