My career has always been in sales, so I would say I am a friendly person and able to chat with a stranger fairly well. It’s the meeting part that is difficult for me. My job, church, kid stuff, and community are all too familiar. I just don’t go to new places or come into contact with (hot) Christian men too often.
The goal in meeting a man online is that he really is the person that he is portraying himself to be – especially the single and Christian parts.
So let’s say the most gorgeous man in the whole wide world sends you an online wink and you melt. You just KNOW that you are going to meet, get married, and make beautiful children together. STOP! Don’t get too excited here. Girls, we need to be very, very careful meeting men online. Here are a few basic rules that I follow:
· Do not give your identity too soon. Get his first, then Google him and look for anything suspicious, the record of his divorce, and deed transfer on his house. It’s fun to be a detective!
· Have an email address that does not disclose your identity and use it until you feel comfortable.
· Meet Mr. Perfect in a public place. DO NOT let him come to your house!
· Be sure to tell someone else your whereabouts in the event that something really bad goes down.
I think lunch on a work day is a great first date because you can make the excuse that you need to get back to work, especially if he’s a weirdo. Also, if he has any couth, he won’t be trying to kiss you in the China Garden's parking lot either. You shouldn’t be kissing on the first date anyways… or second, but we can cover that topic on another day.
And how about the 45 year old who says he is looking for a woman between 25 and 50? I bet he is! He has no clue what he is looking for but will take anything. Archive that match real quick!
So here’s the biggest hugest deal of why I hate online dating: Excessive email chatting is just not healthy. When you are typing away, he can be anything you want him to be because he’s the most gorgeous man in the whole wide world and your babies are going to be beautiful. It’s easy to hide behind the computer screen and sweet talk with Casanova, but meeting in person sooner rather than later will determine if there is any real attraction. Of course he will be attracted to you because you are so darn cute, but what if he smells weird and you just can’t take it or he’s only five feet tall? You need to know these things before you get too far along.
My final point - and then I promise I will get off my soap box for now. This one is BIG. NO NO NO multi-man chatting! I don’t care if you took advantage of the half price man-sale on eHarmony and are trying to get your money’s worth. If you are hitting it off with Mr. Has Potential that winked at you, then give him your undivided attention. Then, make it clear that this is how you roll and expect him to roll that way too. It’s just not respectable to be behaving online any differently than in person. Would you have one dropping you off at the back door while another is waiting to pick you up at the front door? I hope not, so treat online the same way. How would you feel if he was chatting up numerous ladies at the same time including you? YUCK!! It’s a very slippery slope that could lead to trust issues later on. Just don’t do it. If he doesn’t agree, he’s not ready for a committed relationship.
There. I’m done now.
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